Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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