i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
