I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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