I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
