Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
