I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
