in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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