I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
