just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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