you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
