Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
