so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
