I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
