don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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