I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
