he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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