who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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