I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
