you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
