If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
