I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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