Non-Jews are for practice
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize