are you still at the devil's house?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
