So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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