I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
