its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i now understand why vodka
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
