Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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