I want to make a zoo with you.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
