I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize