Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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