So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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