I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just cropdusted the office
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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