then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize