I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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