This girl is more easily done than said...
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
please come you make the beer taste better
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize