I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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