I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
