we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
