my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
