he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
