oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
