who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
