U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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