it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize