Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
