If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
