am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
