Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
