I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and she was petting her beer can
smell my finger.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize