and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize