I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
