wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
