Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
