you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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