is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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