his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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