A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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