dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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