This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
